The Wild Fight

Delightful held hard with her right leg, as Charming, also determined to stay on, held with her left. Confused and slightly amused at the other's lack of ability to tell which way they were falling off, both decided the other was slightly drunk. But, the alcoholic problems that raged within the Flying French Duo must wait until this crisis was over. The massive Skewbald contined to ricoche around the arena, spinning madly. "We WILL Survive!" the frenchmen cried out in unison. The porky horsie had other ideas, however. With lethal intentions, he bound around in circles until an extra incredibly enticing piece of hay caught his attention. With the stopping power of Shadow, he flung his head to the ground, and began to nibble. The frenchmen were estatic! They had stayed on the flailing beast and would live to retell the story. Now, however, more important matters lay in store. Delightful wondered exactly what kind of fermented beetpulp juice Charming had been drinking, and Charming very curious to know exactly where Delightful was making the oat beer. And so Charming, being the delicate natured lady, asked bluntly: "Delightful, WHAT HAVE you been DRINKING???" Shocked, Delightful responded, "Charming, WHAT have YOU been DRINKING???? Both frenchmen stared at each other confused. "But you were falling off to the left..."stammered Charming. "No," responded Delightful, "you were falling off to the left, and I was falling off to the right..." "But I thought..." "No, you were definately wrong..." Eventually, the cafuzzle faded and both frenchmen decided to save such mysteries of life for intelligent folks such as Sir Isaac Newton and Fraser. They would just have to practice more and learn how to trust each other to stay on the bounding, slightly psychotic steed.

I know I can touch the sky!!

Flying had always been the dream and goal of the french pair. They had daydreamed, fantasized and imagined all sorts of aerial wonders. Back flips, double pike dives, triple aerial spins, somersaults and monkey roles... nothing was impossible. But of course a little bit of practise and prior exorcise is necessary. For months the girls practiced their cartwheels at the elks park, pitched hay for muscle definition and hauled water for endurance building. SO it was little wonder that the day of tricks came and the girls were well prepared...

They at first struggled until they were triumphantly on the top of their pony's back by an intricate tail climbing maneuver. At this point the lazy horse stood half asleep with a leg cocked, a good boot in the ribs brought him to life though. As he charged mindlessly around the arena in a frenzy of confusion Delightful was leaning considerably to the starboard side. Dreadfully fearfull for her friends safety Charming grabbed her and pulled her forcefully to the center. At which Delightful screamed in protest, "What are you doing??!! You are pushing me off!" Startled Charming slid to the portside... Confused Delightful pulled her back and was attacked by a thunderous: " SHOOT THE BUCKET!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!!" By then the beast upon which they slumped began a tight spin.......

Dramatic music.....

To be continued by Gilly.

On Board!

The taming of the beastie was long and slow progress. After capturing the steed and placing him in his reserved and very deserved spot in Flin-Flon, the trainers racked their brains. Of course, we shall flag-flog him every day. We need him to R-E-S-P-E-C-T us; and so, flag-flog they did until they achieved the highly sought after face up. After this miraculous moment in Flin-Flon, the real training began. The girls began to ride the stallion. Delightful was first to try and ride the large horsie. She began with an elegant prance up to the stallion's side, and with her long athletic legs, bounced completely over the Skewbald. Of course, the stallion trembled in fear and excitement, but this was no deterence to Charming, who was next to try and tackle the ferocious horsie. Charming, with her petite legs, plodded quickly up to the horse, and with several lunging bounces, attempted to fling her self over his roly-poly back. Her non-athleticism won over, and she slid down to the ground in unfortunate failure. And so the attempts continued. Delightful tried to leap on in every manner, and eventually managed to climb up by vaulting over his bum. Delighted, charming attempted to mirror Delightful. But once again, she failed. After a feirce scolding from Delightful, Charming was doomed to riding the practice pail. But, Delightful was very forgiving and after a few short moments, Charming decided to try to copy Delightul once again, with the help of the pail. Now, both Frenchmen had soared over the Skewbald's bum and were safely planted on the bucking bronco's back.

Let the flying begin!!

Flin Flon

As the ferocious beast lunged and lept around, the bright and clever Frenchmens came to the same conclusion: "FLAG FLOG in FLIN FLON" they yell in unision. They pulled and heaved, prodded and encouraged the piebald stallion toward the circular pen of brainwashing! The beast lurched and shied away from his impending doom. Unfortunately for him the mighty muscles of Delightful, fondly named Pip and Squeek, shoved from behind while the massive muscles of Charming, commonly known as Teeny and Tiny, pulled forcefully upon the head piece. A look of pitty passed across the face of the Delightful once the horsie had been effectively prodded into the arena. "So dumb, so dumb!" she mumbled, " this beast is so dumb!" How were they to effectively brain wash the beast when his mother so obviously gyped him at birth... "Don't worry," Charming encouraged, " We shall just have to work with what we have got!"

The Taming of the Skewbald

The skewbald, now incredibly embarassed at having lost his tail, hung his head in shame. His great wild spirit was broken~ he was ready for the horse whisperers, the FRENCHMEN, the mysterious and incredible Flying Frenchmen to work their equestrian magic. The first stage: putting a halter on the fierce beastie. Delightful, in her cunning horsie ability, was first to tackle the overwhelming obstacles that lay in the near future: the initiation of the halter. As she wrestled the horse's large bald bottom into the narrow confines of the halter, Charming, in all of her wit, suggested the bold and slightly rash idea of tackling the horsie's head and enclosing it in the halter. The head is, obviously, the most dangerous and ferocious part of the horsie: it has TEETH!

BUT, FEAR NOT, O INNOCENT READERS, THE FRENCHMEN ARE EXPERIENCED HORSE HANDLERS

They will not be scared of the ferocious daggers firmly implanted in the jaws of the thrashing horsie. The teeth that so savagely tear the fortitudous grass blades from their firm roots in the life-giving soil. The teeth that scrape and tear as it struggles to scratch an oh-so-annoying itch on the bum. And the teeth that chew, OH I CAN BARELY RETELL THIS PART, the teeth that chew, the BEET PULP.

And so, the adventure did start- the Frenchmen stealthily approached the forehand of the now fully attentive horsie. With great care, but no fear, did they proceed in placing the halter, in no other spot but into the greatly feared mouth. The horsie retaliated strongly, and in all the Frenchmen's ability, they were forced to succumb and place the halter simply around the horse's nose. It was close, but the first stage was over.

The wild steed was captured!

the hunt for the wild steed

As the charmingly good looking Frenchman snuck cleverly through the tall coarse grass her bussiness associate, the delightfully good looking Frenchman crept silently through the nearby shrubs. Ever so slowly they snuck up to the unsuspecting and oblivious wild steed. The Mighty Skewbald, as he had been nick-named, grazed regally on the near by prickle bushes. Quickly and with great agility Charming sprang up and took a firm grasp upon the steeds flowing tail while Delightful deftly caught the steed by his ample foretop. Finding no cause for alarm but simply being the willful and stubborn animal that he is Skewbald leaped and bounded in a most fierce manner. The two adept horse whisperers refused to be detered from there task. They remained steadfast and with one mind sought to restrain the animal and its unruly behavior. Yet the nag had not been named Skewbald for nothing. Amidst all his flailings and with his legs all" a skew" he managed to tread upon the Delightful foot of poor Delightful. In a justified fit of rage and confussion she exclaimed: 'Get the Chicken of my foot!' At which Charming pulled heorically upon the tail and with a mighty heave pulled it from the horses rear leaving him free to return to his prickles with bald bottom.

GET IT?? Skewbald... cause his legs went "all a skew" and now his bottom is bald? Oh how clever!